Kate Woods
Kate is an author that I love with all my heart, not just because she’s my Aunti but because she provides me with endless inspiration to create in my own unique way. Just like she does. I am there for her any time she asks me for help with an image for her wordspinnings or for an ebook cover or for making an un-skewer tool. I am forever blessed that she is my family.
Skewed
by Kate Woods
What a day! I knew when I opened my eyes that the day was going to be horrible. Just something about the way the darkness was refusing to let life and daylight appear. It seemed representative of the way that I’d been feeling lately. Every plan I’d made seemed to be in crash and burn mode and I had very little of my get back up off the ground attitude left in reserve. I’d used it all up over the last year with the myriad of catastrophic occurrences I’d had to deal with. Somehow over the last year everything had become completely skewed. Nothing went as planned, nothing turned out right, and nothing seemed able to be straightened out. Life had somehow become completely skewed when I wasn’t looking. Life in general just sucked.
None of that mattered however, because like it or not I still had to force my get up and go mechanism into gear. As I pushed through the inertia that filled my body and got to my feet I kept thinking that there was no point in getting up. It would just be another skewed distorted day. Nothing would happen the way I thought it would. Nothing good would happen and in fact lately something that was not good usually happened; but none of that mattered, I still had to show up for the day. Until such time as I found an un-skewer tool or good fortune decided to smile on me it was going to be a skewed-up cock-eyed business as usual day. What a depressing thought.
Maybe I could substitute a screwdriver for an un-skewer. That might at least help by taking the edge off. As I poured the orange juice into the half glass of vodka I’d already poured into the glass I felt a moment of guilt for starting my day that way but I had to do something to shake the skewed feelings of anxiety that were overpowering my mind and my body. It’s not my fault there wasn’t an un-skewer anywhere to be found in this house. I just took over the contents as they were when I took over my Mother’s house after she passed on earlier in the year. I’m not really surprised she didn’t have an un-skewer as she was so controlled she never would have needed one; but still she should have had one anyway just to have all the ordinary and necessary household tools. I mean, what kind of a house doesn’t have an un-skewer?
It’s no wonder I ended up so skewed. I’d obviously been raised from birth in a house that didn’t have proper tools. With my anxiety now slightly appeased from the repair I’d done with my screwdriver I was now minimally prepared to take on the day, but it was still dark outside. What the hell was going on? Someone must have given the Sun the day off. Maybe it was a holiday that I’d forgotten about. Perhaps it was National Eclipse Day. Of course, that must be it, it was National Eclipse Day. I wasn’t as completely skewed as I thought I was; I’d just forgotten to check my calendar last night before I went to bed. But if it was a holiday that meant that I didn’t have to go to work and I could go back to bed. Finally a stroke of good luck, I’d go back to bed and when I get up the first thing I’ll do on my holiday will be to go out and buy myself an un-skewer. After all, what kind of a house doesn’t have an un-skewer? No wonder I’ve been so skewed-up for so long! As I was drifting off to sleep I still had one small problem nagging at my skewed mind causing questions to repeat over and over in my head like the refrain in a song. What the hell does an un-skewer look like and where the hell can I buy one?
The moral of the above story is that it is very important to analyze your situation if you’re feeling skewed and to find the proper attitude and proper tools to fix the problem that’s causing the skewed feelings. Find an un-skewer and use it to remove whatever is causing your skewed attitude and existence and to replace it with a new attitude and a new beginning. If you are unable to locate an un-skewer, perhaps you’re looking in the wrong places for it. Don’t let your life stay SKEWED-UP – it’s up to you to fix it!